just admit it, you’re faking it too {repost}

Reading old posts from a year ago reminds me of how far we’ve come. I’m reposting this blog post from the early days because it captures exactly how I felt at that time. Being a new mom is hard! But it’s especially hard at first. I wish I could go back in time and give myself a hug!

Have you ever had a time in your life when one minute you feel super confident, like you totally have your shit together… and then the next minute be crying in desperation for somebody to help you because you have no idea what the hell you’re doing?

Get ready for the hashtag… #NewMom

This week I’ve spent most of my time thinking one of two things:
1) Girl, you are on it! This isn’t so hard. I don’t know what everyone is talking about…
2) What the fuck am I doing? How do people survive this? It’s impossible. I might die here. #SendHelp.

Perhaps this feeling is normal. I’m not sure. All I know is that my confidence is high as a kite one minute and the next I’m crying because I’ve got pee, poop, spit up and eggs in my hair, a baby who appears to love to cry and 14 more hours until Brad gets home to help.

Sidenote: I really did have pee, poop, spit up and eggs in my hair the other day and didn’t know it. Brad came home and asked me what was behind my ear… eggs. Then sadly, he spotted the rest. #TimeForAShower

I am in a constant state of wonder… how do people survive when they have multiple kids? Like a two year old for example. I can’t imagine a two year old running around at 10am wanting to be entertained when I barely slept all night and haven’t had time to warm up my 369th cup of coffee. I mean, honestly, if my cat needing to be fed isn’t stressful enough… a two year old? It’s a mystery how people survive. And they all seems to have their shit together.

And don’t get me started on people with twins. #HowTheHell?

How do people carry on their normal routines with a baby? Am I missing something?

I’ve been asking myself these questions and then I realized… they don’t. They don’t carry on like normal. They have created a new normal. Just like I have. My new normal isn’t very refined but it’s there. From a distance, people may even wonder how I have my shit together with an 8 week old as I post pictures of my adorable baby sleeping soundly at a crowded festival listening to live music on a summer night. They may wonder how at 10:00am I made it to the doctors office on time, with make up on and with a baby who smiled as the lady at the counter told him how cute he was…

But the truth is, it was a freakin’ miracle the baby slept at that concert.  Oh, did I mention he slept long enough for me to take a picture and then woke up? Pictures are deceiving. And one may not know that I spent over 2.5 hours at that doctor appointment because the baby was screaming bloody murder to eat 3 times while I was there. THREE TIMES. Kent was such a show off that day with his eating skills. And that smile… Let’s be honest… #gas.

It’s easy to wonder when you don’t see the full picture.

Exhibit A)

These two pictures were taken about 30 seconds apart. I posted the picture the left to my snapchat. Because… Obviously.

People don’t post about their crappy days. I didn’t post a picture of my baby yesterday when I spent 5 hours on the couch either nursing, pumping, burping, changing diapers or trying to figure out why Kent was crying. I don’t know how many times I looked at him and said “I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG! I’M SORRY BABY!” I only assume it’s normal based off of all my google searches and talking to friends with babies. So suck it up, new mom. Sometimes being normal is no fun.

The truth is… we are all clueless. Aren’t we? Honestly. I’m clueless. I’m just faking my way just like everyone else. Unless everyone else isn’t fakin’ it and in that case… kill me. But this is all new… 8 weeks of “new” and I’m still totally clueless.

So, new mom, let’s come together. The new mom pledge:
1) Drink more coffee.
2) Complain less.
3) And it’s okay to feel annoyed when you see someone who had a baby the same week as you post about how their baby already slept through the night. #EYEROLL

And one more thing… Remember when you close your eyes at night, anticipating your first wake up call in the next hour or two, picture your baby in your mind. For me when I do this, he’s always smiling. He’s always happy. These are the moments I cherish. And the moments I don’t forget.


3 thoughts on “just admit it, you’re faking it too {repost}

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